As Tonya’s World Turns

Since my grandfather has been hospitalized, I have found no extra time to write a post.  I chose to lose myself in typing a blog post this evening. 

It is difficult to watch someone that you love suffering.  One never realizes what an impact that a grandparent can leave upon one’s life.  Over the past few weeks, I have truly been able to see how my grandfather has made an impact on my life.  During my 36 years of life, never have I heard the words, “I love you,” leave my grandfather’s lips.  However, I did hear those words for the first time  in my life, a few days ago.  I shared the treasured moment with my father and his response was that he had never been told, “I love you” from my grandfather as well.  My father explained that he always told us (daughters) that he loved us, due to the fact that he wasn’t told as a child or an adult.  My grandmother was totally opposite in declaring her love to all of us.  Never did I leave their house or end a phone conversation with her without the “I love you” trailing behind.  I know that it is difficult for some to express their love as opposed to others.  I don’t take the words, “I love you” lightly.  With my family, it is easy to say the words and truly mean them from the bottom of my heart.  I don’t know whether it is the age generation or whether my grandfather’s parents didn’t tell him that they loved him.  For whatever reason, I had no idea that it bugged me until he told me that he loved me for the first time.  So many times have I left with kissing his forehead and telling him that I loved him …receiving silence or some mumbled words to follow.  To hear the words, “I love you” returned felt like pure magic to my ears.  Dumbfounded at first, then I felt my heart softening.  Not knowing whether to leap for joy or cry from astonishment; I chose to smile and walk away.   

If I never hear “I love you” from him again, at least, I had that one moment that he was able to say it to me.  Those words have etched a place in my heart that will always be treasured.   I’m very grateful  and blessed for being able to share it before it was too late.